This post is hard for me to write since I don’t think it’s easy to explain in a way people can relate to.  Even after going back and reprocessing the time doesn’t help me explain it better. 

I love music, but I don’t like singing and dancing.  I like live concerts and live recorded music, but I don’t desire to be near the stage.  I like listening to loud music.  I’m fairly particular in the songs I like and don’t like.  My tastes lean towards rock and hip hop.  I don’t like most worship songs.  I do like some ballads and acoustic music.  I do like large orchestras.  

Chapel music is different than all those things.  Each morning we walked into chapel after breakfast and there would be 30-40 college students up on stage.  One or two would lead worship picking songs they like.  Most would be in Chichewa. Sometimes there was a piano player.  Sometimes someone would play a drum or two.  They always invited us to sing and dance.  I was repelled by the invitation.  I felt awkward and disinterested.  But I felt called to internalize the music. 

The band The Afters are coming and they’re going to bring the music, they said.  They came the second week and finally there were three concerts.  I felt like I should go to them all.  The first was in the chapel.  Aaron wanted to rest so just Nathan and I went.  It was a small gathering, but several people from the community came.  Paul Kachala was the opener.  We sat next to people we didn’t know from the community.  Nathan is similar to me, but he joined the concert.  I planned to push myself and him a little out of our comfort zones.  We were sitting/ standing in pews, but when The Afters came on I told Nathan that I was going to stand in front by the stage.  I need to preface this with the fact that Josh Havens is the worship leader at my church, The Grove, and the lead singer of the band, The Afters.  Also Chinsinsi was standing in front, who is one of the college students I met.  I walked up to him and told him he needed to help push me because I was uncomfortable.  

Finally, it was very uncomfortable, but Chinsinsi was supportive.  Nathan stayed in the pew by himself until the concert ended.  I sang and danced a little, but I can’t say it was fun. 

The second concert was in the village.  There were more than 1000 people there to watch the final game.  I watched the game with my sons.  You need to imagine a large dirt field with fields all around.  We sat on a dirt berm to watch the game.  The stage was setup near the field.  It looked so out of place.  There was a 15ft x 15ft x 15ft stage; same as you’d see in the US with speakers and lights.  I assume they had a generator to power it.  After the game nearly everyone walked over to the stage for awards and the concert.  When I got there Mikelo found me and wanted to see the concert.  You have to understand that the houses in the village don’t have electricity.  There are no ‘streets’ and definitely no street lights.  When the sun goes down people go home.  His mom came to get Mikelo.  It’s the first time I’ve seen her in the 5 days I’ve seen him.  I was holding him and tried to put him down, but he gave me a bear hug so tight that than I let go he didn’t move.  The conversation was in Chichewa so this is just my body language translation.  It’s dark and time to go home, let’s go.  No! I’m staying here.  I’m not coming back out here in the dark to get you.  You should come home with me now.  No! I’m staying with him.  Alright kid, that means you need to find your own way home.  See you later.  There was no gentle smile or wave goodbye, just pointing the direction she was going. 

How would Mikelo like this concert with an American band?  Nathan and Aaron were both with me.  Aaron was thinking like the mom.  It’s getting dark.  I’m tired and hungry.  Let’s go.  They arranged busses to leave as people were ready.  As soon as a bus filled it went back to the college.  I said no; we need to stay to watch the band play.  The Afters will play all over the world.  This isn’t their first international crowd.  I don’t know if they always play local songs, but they know a couple songs in Chichewa to warm up the crowd.  Mikelo is excited and wants to sing and dance; like normal.  Then they switch to their English songs.  Mikelo is still excited and still wants to sing and dance.  It’s much less awkward to play with a 5 year old during the concert.  He liked trying to sing the English words and liked when I sang them to him.

Then the band started preaching the gospel and doing the alter call.  They had a translator.  Aaron was still tired and it was very dark by now so I agreed we could go back.  I asked one of the interns what I should do with Mikelo to help him get home.  Leave him here.  What?!? Are you sure?  Yes, he’ll be fine.  I told him he needed to ask Mikelo if he was ok to get home on his own.  Mikelo said ok. He finally let go of me and waved goodbye.  He seemed ok.  I saw him the next morning so he clearly was ok.  It was a good time to leave.  They said they were still there for a couple more hours because there were hundreds of people that went up on stage for the alter call.  Clearly the people of Malawi were ok with the music. 

The third concert was in the city at an outdoor amphitheater.  It had a large built in stage with a large standing area and many concrete seats around that.  It was a paid concert with 5 bands playing.  The Afters were second to last.  We got to the concert 30 min after the start time, but it still hadn’t started.  We watched over bands for 2.5 hrs before the Afters went one.  It was mostly in Chichewa. We were mostly just sitting and talking.  I asked Aaron if he wanted a coke.  He said yes so I offered him cash to go get some, but he declined.  More than an hour later I decided to walk around and buy him a coke.  If course Nathan wanted one too.  I ordered 3 cokes. They didn’t want people to have glass bottles there so they poured it over ice in plastic cups.  Ice is a luxury in Malawi. We haven’t had ice in over a week at this point.  They also wanted to serve the boys since they didn’t walk with me.  They got coke served to them on a platter with white gloves!  After they got their sugar and caffeine kick I told Aaron it’s time to stand up and stand by the stage.  He grabbed Nathan and told him the same thing.  Surprisingly, he came with.  For this concert a good 70% of the people in our group stood up for the Afters.  It was fun filming the kids getting more engaged.  Some of the interns called me out and said I was just standing in the back and not dancing.  Then I had to stand with them to show them I was trying to dance… somewhat.  Chinsinsi was here, but he worked his way closer to the front than us. 

It was different.  Chapel was different.  I felt like I should record them so I can remember back home.  I just used the voice recorder in my phone.  I recorded chapel 4 different days.  I recorded 3 or 4 songs of the Afters in the city.  I have listened to them again.  I still don’t feel like I need to sing and dance.  However,  I do still feel like I need to internalize the music.  It’s hard to explain, but music is powerful.  Also, I can worship my God just by listening to music and internalize it. 

I talked a lot about the Afters so I should give my honest opinion.  I bought several of their CDs after joining the church and I will listen to them occasionally in my car.  I don’t particularly like any worship music.  I don’t really like the music in their songs.  However, if I focus on their words and the message in their words it is very powerful.  God still speaks to his people.  God still answers prayers.  God talks to Josh Havens and you can hear God’s voice in his music.  I can still worship my God even if I don’t like the music.  I can still worship my God even if the music is in Chichewa and I don’t know what the words actually say. 

I don’t think it’s any more clear after all those words, but I’ll leave this topic at that.